So it's amazing how things work. I was in the park the other day, and a man and a woman approached me. They asked if I had ever heard of the mother goddess. Clearly I told them that I had, and I agreed with them blah blah blah, kind of excited about it all, but knowing that I had come to the park to get some schoolwork done. Then they attempted to show me some bible passages, and I informed them that I had to go.
I turned and left- turned back, they were gone.
So, I'm sitting at the base of a statue of George Washington in Union Square Park, reading the Communist Manifesto (yes, I know. I really did it. And I felt like a super badass, not gonna lie, though I half expected him to come to life and smite me). About halfway through the book, I'm approaced by a second couple asking the same question. This time I kind of totally blew them off. I was just likeyeah, yeah, your friends already talked to me, and they said, "what friends". Weird right?
In true form, I looked up, and they were GONE.
No one else in the entire crowded park seemed to have seen them.
Here is where you get the preface, and why this whole situation might just be so amazing, if it didn't seem amazing to you already. This all happened on Sunday night. On Friday night, I hooked up with my best friend. It was slightly weird, but I've known him for a year now, and for about the past nine monthes, he has that friend who I just shared everyone with. He knows my moves before I make them, and I know his. We were scene partners last year, we had to make out in our scene, but I never ever saw him as anything more than a friend. Frankly I was not attracted to him in that way really at all. He's attractive, I always acknowledged that, but he didn't seem to be my type at the time. I was into the dark, evil men. That always seems to be my throwback type of guy... the ones you see into their eyes, see their sociopathic tendencies and just want them to take you. But then we came back from summer break.
This summer I worked at a summer stock theatre, doing all musicals. This may seem trivial, but it is one of the best things that I have ever done in my life. I had a great summer, I learned a lot about myself, how to just relax and enjoy life. I learned how to be happy being healthy and nice, basically. I learned how to like a good guy- yeah, there was a summer guy. He was five years older than I am, and I've never been opposed to dating a guy that much older, I just haven't. Anyway, after a flirtation and hanging out for monthes, including being his "prom date", we finally hooked up on the night before I left town. It was hot and furious. In the back of his car in a church parking lot. He was a really good, nice guy, and I realized that was the type f person I really wanted.
Now, I did not come back to school with the intentions of finding a guy. Quite the fucking opposite, in fact. I wanted to just spend time completing the bettering of myself that had begun over the summer, and, if you'll excuse the pun, seemed to come to climax that night in the back of that car. But suddenly best friend guy and I were hanging out one-on-one like all of the time. We were going to see shows together, spending time in the room, taking classes together, it was just awesome. I mean awesome in the true sense of the word- like a majestic range of purple mountains in the midwest, or the beauty of a triple rainbow over the ocean. Really awesome!
I started to see him in a different light- he'd grown up. Those little things that had driven me crazy about him as a friend last year had changed, gone away completely, or become weirdly endearing to me. I was just loving spending time with him. Not to mention I found him wickedly handsome now. Honestly, he may not look that much different, but not seeing him for three monthes made me see him in a different light. He just makes me full of joy every time I look at his stunning self. God, that sounded like he's gay (haha He's NOT gay...). You understand what I mean. I realized that I liked him as more than a friend, something I never thought in a million years would ever happen. An occurrence that seemed as imminent as the apocalypse, in all honesty. I was attracted, I cared, and I wanted him.
We were at a mutual friend's birthday party, drinking and smoking hookah. Each of us had only had a few drinks- neither one of us was anywhere near drunk. I am a heavyweight, I believe he is too. I had never actually gotten drunk with him, he didn't start drinking until halfway through the year last year, and we had never gotten smashed together. The chances of that happening in the near future are probably pretty high, but it hadn't happened yet. Well, still hasn't. Anyhow, he kissed me. In front of everyone. He was kind of massaging my shoulders, and then he just, well, kissed me. Five minutes later, perhaps not even, it happened again. I went upstairs to another part of the party, and then heard, to my great dismay, that he had left.
A few minutes later, I received this text message (I hate talking on the phone... I prefer texting. I am the most awkward phone talked on the face of the earth): "I have gone home. I hope you can find it in your heart to excuse my beligerrence"
I was impressed by the word beligerence. Not gonna lie. But I was sad a little that he thought I wasn't into it...
I was about to text him back and this came up on my phone screen: "And by I hope you can forgive my beligerence, I mean, maybe you could come see me later"
I called him (i know, big for me), left the party, and went back home. Conveniently, he lives three floors below me. However, it was raining. I showed up at his door some twenty minutes later, soaking wet, my dress made practically see through by the rain, and makeup running down my face, and he kissed me.
Long story I'm not going to go into detail about here due to censorship as well as tact and time short, we're kind of a thing, or as we are saying "mutually exclusive but not really in a relationship". And I feel like the happiest woman alive. I'm listening to Katrina and the Waves. That kind of happy. He kisses me in public, at studio even! It's awesome.
This story will be continued when I have more time... it gets SO much better it's unreal.
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danuofthelake's journal
